I Dont Wanna Share

So much has happened since my last post.
We've packed up and moved to California to take jobs as ministers of music. The trip was TEDIOUS for me at 35/36 weeks pregnant....but I made it (Thank you Lord).
For almost 2 weeks we bunked @ a hotel until we found the place just right for us.
And here we are, having been in Cali for just 3 weeks; living in our new place and already working at our new job.
While enjoying an off day and waiting for the cable guy to come my 3yo son woke from his nap in quite a foul mood. He was talking back, pushing my hand away, and making rude faces at me.
Finally I asked him what was wrong with him.

"Why are you being mean to mommy?"
"Because I dont wanna share" he said.
"Share what?"
"I dont wanna share you".......


And there it was. The moment I was dreading. The moment I knew would come but desperately hoped wouldnt. The moment when my 3yo expressed that he wasn't quite so excited about having a baby sister taking up some of the attention.

Im not sure that Im ready to handle this. I dont know all the right words to say to him. I just want to hug him as much as possible and tell him every 5 minutes how much I love him.

As the day of delivery draws closer, Im getting very excited to hold my little girl. But my daily prayer is that God will grant me the grace and strength to continuously let my Bubs know that he is not being replaced.

Motherhood....quite a journey.

Never Leave Home without 'em

It was always my preference that my son never got attached to the pacifier. 

I even included the request for NO PACIFIER in my birth plan. 

I may as well have written that in japanese, because as soon as I came out of recovery (from my c-section), there was my big blue-eyed boy sucking on a green pacifier almost as big as his entire face. From that day on , he needed it day and night. 

It wasn't until this past January when Bubs bit a hole in his "need it" (as he affectionately called it) , that we decided to throw alllllllll (gazillion) of his need its away and tell him that they were all broken and gone. Within a week he stopped whining in the middle of the night for them.

But I must admit, I think its super cute when kids have something they're attached to that they use either at bed time, or simply as a tag a long friend to bring comfort. As a baby, (other than the pacifier) my son didnt really get attached to any toys or stuffed animals. But now; he goes nowhere without these 2 things.

(Ignore the pink sheets. We're at my parents for the week and 80% of the linen my mother buys is pink or flowered.) 

Meet George and luvey. 

George is a monkey that we bought a few weeks ago to help Bubs get used to the idea of having someone to take care of. Since his sister will be making an arrival sometime in the next 6 weeks, we thought Bubs needed to get in the habit of being gentle, showing a good example, and always having a "sidekick" tagging along. For the most part its been very effective; except for the times when forgets George is in his possession and literally DRAGS him down the slide or insists on taking him in the sandbox with him. : )

And the luvey? The blanket with the cutesy tags around the edges? My sweet friend made that for Bubs, and he LOVES it. Back in the winter, he started waking up around 3 am every single night saying he was scared and not going back to sleep unless he was in our bed. My friend made him this blanket, and my husband and I hugged the blanket to our chests every night, and told Bubs it was full of our love. Now he sleeps all through the night as long as he has his luvey.

Naturally there will come a time when George and luvey will be too tattered to go anywhere, but for now it not only adds comfort to my son knowing he has them; it does my heart good as well. 

ENOUGH already!

I am consumed by pregnancy. 

I can barely carry on a conversation without mentioning something in regards to my pregnancy.

Im constantly touching and rubbing my belly.

Its all I twitter about. 

Its all I dream about. 

The purchases I make these days are primarily with the baby in mind. 

Cutesy dresses. Dainty bows. Plush blankets and stuffed animals. 

I am consumed. 

Some anonymous person out there who follows me on twitter, knows me pretty well, or just saw me waddling happily through Old Navy is thinking "enough already". I just know it. 

So perhaps for my own satisfaction, I've created a blog simply to talk about my pregnancy ( whats left of it) the daily happenings of a mommy and wife, and random things that I encounter as a mom who used to have an interesting life that i suddenly rather "normal".

The thing is, amongst the uncertainties in my life; my family has become the most precious thing to me." Abraham "( my genius of a husband) and I have grown in our communication and emotional connection in leaps and bounds this year (since the miscarriage of our son Christian). "Bubs" (my energetic blue eyed 3yo son) is learning so many new things and simply watching him learn and discover new things (and expressions) brings me incredible joy." Miss One" (my 34 weeks old fetus) has no idea how excited I am about bringing her into this world. I always thoughts myself more of a "boys" mother, but Im hugely excited about having a daughter to bond with. And even  "A1" (my stepson) has such a special place in my heart (even though he doesnt live with us), and Im excited to see how he grows and continues to bond with his brother and sister.

Eventually, I'd love to get back into the music business and record a praise and worship or childrens album. One day I'd love to write a series of best selling novels and even own a quaint, cutesy bookstore. But for now, I'm so very content being Abrahams wife and building a life with our children.

For many the story of a pregnant mommy may be boring. But for me; its life, a life Im proud of.

Welcome !